The Inflated Ego
- Abhinav Bhalla
- Mar 23
- 3 min read
We all start out like that shiny new football - full of potential but still a blank slate. As we go through life, we encounter people and situations that shape us. Compliments, appreciation, and success are like the air pumped into that ball. At first, it feels good - who doesn't like being praised and valued? Our ego grows with each word of validation.
"You're so talented!" Our ego inflates a bit more.
"Wow, you're brilliant!" The ego swells further.
"I wish I could be like you!" Now the ego is really pumped up.
Basking in the glow of external validation, our ego makes us feel powerful, important, untouchable even. We start to believe we are the source of all that greatness. The ego whispers: You're special. You're better than the rest. This is where you belong - above it all.
But ego built on the shaky foundation of others' opinions is a precarious thing. Just as that football revelled in being tossed around in admiration, we let external circumstances dictate our self-worth. The problem is, just like that football, life eventually kicks us around.
The inflated ball is not stable. It keeps rolling around from one place to another, maybe looking for whoever treats it better. But in fact, it keeps getting kicked around. What gives the ball the ability to be kicked around? It is the air inside. Our ego inflates us and lets others kick us around for their benefit and sometimes just for the fun of it. Only because we gave them the permission to kick us around when we let our ego take over our mind.
When the same people who built us up start to criticise us, our ego comes crashing down hard. When we fail at something, our ego deflates into insecurity. When someone else succeeds, our ego fills with envy and resentment. The brittle ego cracks under life's challenges.
The lesson here is to cultivate a strong sense of self that doesn't rely on fleeting ego boosts. Build your identity on your values, effort, growth and compassion. Be wary of an inflated ego that will inevitably be punctured.
Deflate the ball a little and it will be difficult to kick it around. Take out all the air and no player would want to kick it because they will probably only hurt themselves if they do that. There will be no takers for the flat ball. The players will move on to some other inflated ball. The deflated ball will be of no use to these players, but for the ball, it is the end of its perils. The ball will finally be free, though bruised.
Find contentment from within, not from without. Stay humble through successes and resilient through setbacks. Root your worth in your inner being, not in the judgments of the crowds. Ego is loud but true self-esteem is quiet confidence.
Let the air out of the ego before life does it for you. Better to be a ball that can roll with the kicks than one that ruptures under pressure. Be humble, be grounded, and be true to yourself - that is the path to peace and happiness.
The Thirties' Reboot - Life Lessons to Live Fully in Your Thirties and Beyond, is now available.
I love how real and relatable this book is. It doesn't pretend to have all the answers, but the insights and stories will help you find your own. A great read for anyone navigating the ups and downs of life!
Hey Abhinav! Loved the analogy and the lesson offered! Led me to think about the football from yet another perspective. The football's very purpose is to be kicked around and keep moving forward and to achieve that, it needs air—just like we need constant encouragement and motivation from the people who matter.
Too much kicking can deflate it, making it harder to roll on its own, and at that point, seeking fresh air becomes essential to bounce back. (Perhaps the most advanced/enlightened version of a football would be one that can refill itself—able to find resilience from within! :D)