Burden of Expectations

One of the greatest sources of suffering is the baggage of expectations we place on others. When we expect people to behave a certain way, we set ourselves up for frequent disappointment.

These expectations take root early on. They are constructed from our personal perspectives and conditioning, the lessons we absorb about how life should be.

As kids, we listen to parents' spoken and unspoken "rules" about how family members should interact. We internalise cultural norms about gender roles - how a "good" wife or husband should be. Media reinforces expectations around material success - what accomplishments and status we should achieve at each stage of life.

Our ego comes to believe this is how things should be. So when others deviate from these preconceived ideas, we view it as flawed or wrong. But in reality, it's often just a clash between our rigid expectations and their valid individuality.

For example, we may expect our partner to anticipate our needs and always read our minds. When they don't, we label them inconsiderate. But, in fact, our expectations of constant telepathy are simply unrealistic.

Or we may expect a friend to always prioritise hanging out together. When they cancel plans, we feel hurt and betrayed. But they have their own busy life and needs. Our expectation of complete priority is unfair.

Rather than force others into our mental moulds, the healthiest thing we can do is let go of expectations entirely. To drop our judgments and see people for who they truly are, not who we want them to be.

This allows us to understand perspectives different from our own. To accept and even celebrate our diversity as humans. And to appreciate the richness of each person's distinctive essence.

Releasing expectations is challenging because it requires moving past our ingrained conditioning. We have to catch ourselves when judging through the lens of "should" - our parents should care this way; our partner should understand that; our kids should behave like this.

But when we do let go, the burden lifts. Our relationships become freer and more authentic. People can simply exist, without pressure to conform. And we can connect with their real selves, not idealised versions.

Life becomes lighter when we follow this saying - "Expect nothing and accept everything." Let's greet each person as the unique individual they are. Wherever we can, let's replace expectation with understanding, projection with empathy, and judgment with compassion.

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The Thirties' Reboot - Life Lessons to Live Fully in Your Thirties and Beyond, is now available.

If you're looking for a book that combines relatable life lessons with actionable advice, this is it. Abhinav Bhalla doesn't just talk about the challenges of the thirties—he helps you take them head on, with clarity and purpose. A practical and inspiring read!

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